I want to write about my journey . Skip all the parts that you find boring and read what you feel you can relate to. I won’t be offended, hahaha.
I was brought up in a traditional Greek family. I spent my early years in Greece and then my teenage years and most of my adult life in South Africa. I have always been a people pleaser and so from a young age I tried to be helpful around the house by ironing, organizing, even doing the garden, etc. I guess it made me happy too.
At some point, somewhere between trying to please people and being practically helpful, I lost a bit of myself, and as time went on a bit more and more. This may sound a bit dramatic but it’s not. In fact, I think we all lose a bit of ourselves and get stuck in some form of perpetual complacency, and life goes on (unless you are a narcissist, but I am not qualified to go into all that, haha).
Then you get married (which I never thought I would), have kids (which by the age of 37 I kind of gave up on), and you become consumed by the needs of others. Moving to the UK enhanced that. I have worked paying jobs from the age of 16, and so to find myself staying at home with kids was a new experience for me. I was now officially a home keeper, a house mom.
Even as I built my own successful little cleaning company (in a very short period of time) I was essentially a home mom. SAHM, homemaker or housewife. So many words for the same “profession”.
Being a homemaker has been the most humbling and exhausting job ever. And most of the time incredibly rewarding. But at the same time it can feel unappreciated. (But that’s a blog for another time.)
It was during this new period in my life, as a homemaker, that my interest in organising and decluttering became more that just an interest. It became an essential survival skill. When you are home a lot of the time, you are faced with STUFF all the time. The more STUFF you have the more you have to dust, clean, organise. At the same time, when you are no longer earning a steady income you become a lot more aware of wastage and being a spendthrift.
Throw perimenopause into the mix, and the fact that I am an older mom, and I’m left with an overwhelming amount of STUFF looming over my head and having to make peace with. I quickly realized that STUFF is not just physical items that you can easily donate or sell or get rid of, but it’s also things you cannot see, you cannot donate or just sell. If only it were that simple, haha. STUFF starts to accumulate and cutter your life… It’s time to declutter all of it.
What made an impression on me as I woke up thinking this morning is how everything links together. As a society we are somehow trained to compartmentalise life. Home, Office, Church, Spiritual, Health, Kids, Exercising. We create different rules for all of these different compartments. I have reached a stage in my life where I have realized that it’s all linked. All these compartments flow into one another and you need to sort out so much more than just items. I realized that I could follow the same principals in all aspects of my life and that I was able to reduce stress by following one basic principle. Get rid of STUFF.
There is no ONE formula for everyone and we all have to spend time developing our own. In my 49 years I have been blessed with loads of ups and down and that’s the way we determine what works for us and what doesn’t. And in that way we are able to apply what we learn through experience, and not simply by reading someone else’s blog or adapting to someone else’s lifestyle that may look spectacular on social media.
Declutter and organize. KEEP IT SIMPLE. And apply it to all your compartments.
Declutter your home – probably the easiest place to start because you’re dealing with physical items you can see. You can also see the immediate result of reducing the physical items you have. So the rewards are easy to achieve (even though for most it’s a daunting and less than fun activity). This is where people like me can help you. If you have the funds and you want to invest in yourself then book an appointment with a professional declutterer and organizer. If you don’t have the finances get a friend involved and ask them to help you, and then return the favour by helping them.
Shopping – I have absolutely nothing against Amazon and online shopping, in fact I should have shares by now if you add up all the purchases I have made during my time in the UK (Covid being the catalyst). However I feel that in general, the quality of the items is decreasing and the prices are increasing. I have made a decision to practice what I preach. Instead of purchasing something I want/need and often falling into the trap of wanting it NOW and purchasing it online at that very moment, I will save up for a better version of that something. Very often you will realize that that NEED fades away and you never actually buy that item, or you sacrifice and save up and spend the money for something that is worth keeping for more than just a season. We are programed to fall into the consumerism and instant gratification trap. I am ashamed to confess that I fell prey to Amazon and similar online stores when I arrived in this country. It was all new to me and it was super exciting to be able to order anything I wanted and have it arrive at my doorstep a day later. I mean WOW. But in the long run I accumulated inferior quality items that I actually did not really need or value, and had to throw out loads of cardboard boxes. Reducing my online consumerism and saving for something that was of a superior quality has helped me reduce the STUFF that I have, save more money, be kinder towards our planet, spend less time organising and more importantly love what I own. Less is more
Spirituality – Declutter your mind and explore your abilities. I am married to a priest who thankfully has faith enough for both of us. I have realised that I am not an academic, and I am not a theologian, and I am not blessed with the ability to read deeply enriching spiritual books, and pray the way that he does. However, being Orthodox my whole life has made me realize how attendance at church and participating in the sacraments of the church helps me to be present and to appreciate life and the real riches we have. And none of those are material items. I pray while cooking or cleaning or working or training. Not all the time but it’s become my connection and perpetual fountain of meaningfulness. By accepting my limits I have grown in my spiritual life. It has also allowed me to think in a more minimalistic way which feeds into the way I live my life. It does not have to be complicated. My husband points out that humility is very close to simplicity.
Health – Less is more. And this is true even when we are dealing with health. Eat less, train simply, eat simply and live longer (God willing). My relationship with my health started young when I discovered I was double jointed (now known as hypermobility). I had to train or else I would literally fall apart, haha. At some point I felt like I would not get married young as was the social norm at the time, but I decided that in the unlikely event that I got married and became a mom it would be in my best interest to stay as healthy as possible. And, to my surprise, I met someone and had 2 kids, one at 40 and another at 45. I have been on anxiety medication for almost 6 years now, and I am happy to note that recently I have been able to wean off them very slowly. Almost everyone I meet is suffering with anxiety. Some don’t even know it. Decluttering my lifestyle has given me the means to wean off my medication.
Health is a very interesting topic for me because it also permeates every single facet of our life. Health doesn’t mean beautiful and thin with stomach abs and perfect hair. Although it would be an added bonus. Health means clarity of mind, lightness of body and a calm demeanour. It means having a healthy body and mind and working with your body and not against it. Health means learning how things work and learning how to assist your body function the best way it can even in some cases healing itself. As a mom it’s very important for me to set a healthy foundation for my kids by setting an example and as an older mom it’s important to stay healthy and alive as long as possible for my children and my family. Your bodies are incredible. Woman are incredible. Declutter your life by choosing to spend time learning about how YOU work and what makes you function and reach the best version of yourself.
If you think about it it’s all interconnected. Everything about our body mind and soul is linked together and our aim in life should be to learn more about this miracle of God’s creation called our body and look after it as best as we can. Minimalism for me is how I choose to live my life with what I have been given. I try and make choices every day that help me simplify my life and reach my goal.
As women we generally have to adapt to our environment not only because of changes in our lives but also because we are constantly changing inwardly and in our bodies. Hormones rule us and are there to protect us and we need to learn to stop fighting against changes that are inevitable and accept them, learn about them (yourself) and make it all work for YOU.
Declutter your life. Reduce STUFF and see the benefits in all aspects of your life.
Most importantly make it into a lifestyle. Something sustainable for YOU. Something that will not add to your stress. I will repeat what I mentioned earlier because it’s important to remember: There is no ONE formula that works for everyone. Each of us has to do the groundwork and find what works for us. Even then you will probably change and fine tune a few things as you go along.
The important thing is to start and to continue growing and learning while you are creating a minimalist lifestyle that suits YOU.
TIP: choose a like minded person and have conversations about your health, spiritualism, organisation, kids, etc. Accountability is important, and understanding and validation is priceless.